Since we brought him home from the hospital, Felix has slept in a cosleeper bassinet next to our bed. Kind of like a mini pack n play. It has made night time very easy, which I was worried about being the only one able to feed him at night this time around. Ramona was bottle fed, so Paul and I took turns, but she also had to have her bottles warmed, etc, so even if it wasn’t my turn, I usually ended up comforting her as Paul was warming the bottle. I also remember getting up more often with her, maybe because she was smaller for longer? But with Felix, it’s been pretty simple. Pick him up, feed, put him down, sleep.
He’s six months old now, so Paul, that evil heartless man, decided we should try him out in his own room**. He naps in his own room and he is an easy sleeper, he has no real routine. Tired? Put him in bed. Boom. So, we decided to try it. He woke up around 10 to eat (unusual, but he’s been eating a lot more lately), so I went in there and nursed him. No problemo. Then he woke up at 11 because his pacifier fell out. At that point, I decided he needed to be back in the cosleeper. I gave up at the first bump in the road.
This is TOTALLY unlike me. I can tune out crying really well. TOO well. It doesn’t (often) grate on my nerves or turn me emotional or whatever. I can dole out punishments to Ramona without giving in. I have stick-to-it-iveness. I also use slang terms of the elderly with panache. I’m cool under pressure***. My first reaction when Ramona gets hurt is to say “Well, maybe if you hadn’t been sitting on the soccer field, Stella wouldn’t have stepped on your hand. Oh. Uh, sorry, do you want me to kiss it? There there.” (I’m kind of a dick when it comes to being a mom.) And also I am slightly paranoid. So, of course, I laid awake, staring at the ceiling, wondering if I was going soft. Then it hit me. No! I’ve still got nerves of steel! But I’m lazy! I’m not walking to the other end of our (very small) house to shove a paci in his mouth****.
So, for some reason, it makes me feel better that I’m still a hard ass, just a lazy hard ass. Skewed principles, I guess. But for now, my sweet little guy is going to be right there, at least until his head and feet are touching both ends of the bassinet at the same time, or I can get Paul to commit to being the paci monitor.
*Actually, Felix is a pretty good sleeper and sleeps through the night or close to it, often. Just had to reference Crimpshrine. Up da punx, etc.
**This is not because Felix is disturbing Paul’s sleep in any way. This is entirely a ploy in order to get some. I don’t know why he thinks it will work.
***Too cool, actually. Like sometimes I SHOULD be freaking out and reacting instead of worrying about overreacting.
****Yes, I’m aware I could let him cry it out. I’m a hard ass, not a monster.